Mike Vs The Snake

Hey guys. I have a crazy story to tell today. Hold onto your'e butts because it's a crazy story today. So I was out in the front garden. It was kind of late, like 7 or 6 P.M. the other day. I stepped out because I wanted to. And what did I see but THE BIGGEST F'ing SNAKE EVER. it must have been like 90 feet long and not very wide but still extremely long. So like, my dad hires a guy to make sure the'res no animals like moles and crazy rats digging up the yard, but i guess they dont a count for ginormous azz snakes from the rotten underworld. Well, I could of just gone back inside and left it for somebody else to deal with, but I felt like being a badazz this night.

Art by Jimmy Thatchroufe

So I grabbed a shovle. I held it like a sword and I kinda looked like the Ed Kleizer from Apropos X Lullabye IV just without the scarf. Damn i need a cool scarf. The only AXL merch i have is the cheap plastic LLL Shiro mask from the launch party in new york which is awesome and rare but i do NOT feel like a badazz wearing it. Anyway. I said some awesome taunts to the snake. Like, I said "You want a peace of me?" and stuff like that. Then I hit the snake with my shovle a few times and it wiggled around. It was scary as f. Then I had the smart idea. I turned the shovle edge ways and used it like a real sword and CUT the snake. I shouted out: BLAZING.... SLAAAAAASH!!! and then I cut down on the snake with the edhe ways of my shovle. And then I got sprayed with blood all over my face and body and I was super grossed out but I felt like a hero. Like I was getting some E.X.P. points from it. But then I realized the blood was clear and flavorless... and then I got closer. The stupid snake was the garden hose the whole times. Somebody left it turned on with the nozzel thing on so I guess that made it look like a snake from a distence. What ever, I still feel like I level'd up and showed my barvery on that day. And you should to.

And thats' my awesome story. Thanks for reading! PEACE!

-Mike