Jimmy and Mikes Chines Buffet Adventure

Jimmy:
hello demon peoples. Today is the most wonderful times of the year when me and my corehort Mike went to eat some exhautic far east quizene. And there is no more authenticated restarnt for Asian and Chinese food than Mr. Chows Chinese Buffey. And let me tell you I was hungrer than the kind of effed up angry lookin dog that was wondering arount the praking lot. funny doggy!

Mike:
Hey guys Mike here. I have been to Chinese and the food at this place is nothing like real Chiese food but I'll be a god damn crazy grorilla's uncle if it isn't mondo hella tasty tasty. Seriously. Its yumbo in my tumbo. I would go every days if father didnt tell me that would make me die with in 2 days. By the way, Jimmy tried to go up and pet that dog but father and I said "no" so he stopped.

Jimmy:
Ok gang its jimmy again did you miss me i mist you. So the glorious of this place is that you can eat AS MUCH AS YOU CAN STUFF DOWN YOUR FAT FATE. and you dont have to pay extra you just pay the price for the buffert. So we got a table for 3 but the only had a table for 4 so we were just 1 short. Oh if only I had brought my snes. Oh my snes! oh my snes but it was me and mike and mikes dad. Mikes dad pade for it by the wy. And his net woth is $75 bardillion dollats so it was badically free. So we sat down and the lady asked what drinks we wanted. Mikes dad said water and Mike said cola and I said mustard and the lady and mikes dad laughed but mike didnt cuz he new I was serious and i was. i was serious. oh yes. but mikes dad said no so i got SIERRA MUST.

Mike:
Mike again here. Father wated at the table while Jimmy and me went to grab our first plate and immediarely Jimmy graps 3 plates. One in each hand and one on his arm like a waiter. I called him a dumb azz and azked him how hes gonna get the food onto the plates if hes hands are full, and he said "watch this" and he beant down and grabbed the serving tong in his mouth and used expurt controll of his fat azz mouth to manouver the foods onto each and every each of his plates. Everyone else getting plates looked disgusted but I was seriously impresed. Then a guy came out from the kitchen and said "no, no" at Jimmy so he stopped. Then the guy took all the tongs back into the kitchen probably to burn them I think lol. I got some chow main noodles and some sweety sour chicken. Jimmy got 2 of everything.

Jimmy:
We sat back down at the toble and mikes dad went to get his food. i drank down all my cola in one gulp and mike said "THAT WAS MINE" but im pertty sure it was mine. Just to be safe I gave him my SIERRA MOST becaze im basicalty justa nice guy. mike picked up some noodle with his chip sticks and said "chow main is my main chow" and i said "what does that mean" and he said "it means its all i eat" and i said "what is" and he said "chow main" and i said "whats that" and he said "its a kind of noodles" and i said "why didnt you just say noodles" and he lookd at me like he wanted to tye my arms into nots and brake both my legs and staple sender blocks to my both my sides and push me off a montain into the chark infisted waters below. but i would live. oh yes. i would live. Becuz I would GET THE NET! the fishing net! then mikes dad sat back down with a empty plate and said they didnt have any tong. GET THE NET!

Mike:
After father finnaly got his food we all started eating. Jimmy finished his first plate (CALORY TOTAL: 62,000) in 58 seconds (I timmed it with fathers stop wotch) and I didnt see him chew ONCE. Father asked him if he could taste what he was eating and Jimmy didn'y answer but instead he did the old LOOK OVER THERE trich and when father turned around he grabed a fustful of sesamy seeds chicken off his plate and put them yep. Direcetly into his cargot shorts pockets. And then he started on plate number 2 (CALORY TOTAL: 4,000,000) and he was sweatsing like a fatazz bloated decease-infested slop eating barmyard pig thats so fat it cant even move and its' about to die. It was horribuel to watch but I couldent turn away. Mind you I had only ate a quorter of my chow main by this toint. Father ate a little cubey fruit chunk that was left on his plate and said "now I know who to call if our garbadge disposal ever breakes" and I said "or the trash can" and he said "that too" and Jimmy looked up at us and growled.

Jimmy:
JIMMY GOTTA EAT!!! thats what I was thinging at least but my mouth was full so i growaned like a nauhgty little animal. mike and mikes dad looked at me like i just did something crasy so i kept eating my oh so delucius food that i doint know what all it was. there was noodels and eggs and rice and eggs in the rice and soy sayce and fride chicken and pork dumpings and a slidce of cake and peach cobeler and shrimpeys and crabe leggs and some pizza plus some stuff that i never heart of. the only thing that was missing was mustard which they dint even have at all in the entire bulding whihc almost made me lose my appletite. i stood up and shouted HOW DO YOU CALL THIS A PROPPER EATING ESTABLICHING WITHOUT MUMSTARD. and mikes dad said "jimmy be quiet or we are leaving" and i said "thats ok im full" and he just gave me a look like he waneted to lock me in the valentine manor killing room with 7 traned killerz and never open the door no matters how loud i screem if he could even hear me over all the changsaws. but i would survive. oh yes. like gloria gator once singed. I will survie.

Mike:
Father and I finished eating our RESONABLY SIZED MEALS and the lady came with the check which is when we larned that Jimmys 16 drink refills cost almost as much as all of our food COMBONED. Jimmy asked the lady to give his comploments to Mr Chow and the lady laughed. I said "Jimmy Mr Chow isnt real hes' just the maschot" and Jimmy said "how do you know" and I said "cuz his head is a bowl of friet rice" and he said "some people are born that way" and I just let it go. Its all you can do when talking to Jimmy sometomes......Andyway. We left the building and guss who was wating for us outside. The dog. And he was hungry. And Jimmy had a pucket full of fathers chicken. And the dog was hungry. And fasster than Jimmy. Why dont you tell the reeders how that went, my dear Jimmyjim?

Jimmy:
NINTEEN STICHES

Mike:
His pants were competely ruined too. Not just cuz the dog but cuz, thats right ladies and gentleman, after drinking like 3 gallonts of soda he pizzed himslef. Himself and the dog. Just wow.

Jimmy:
MY REFIEW OF MR CHOWS BIG CHINA KITCHEN AND FOOD RESTARTANT BUFFET: GET RID OF THAT F@#$%@#$@# MUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Jimmy and Mike