The NES: Not So Super

In the days before the 90s there was a console called the NES. If you think that sounds a lot like SNES, that's because it was the processor to our beloved SNES, and in fact, SNES stands for Super NES. So what was the regular NES like? Well... There was no 16 bit graphics, no orchestra soundtracks, no mode 7, no super effects chip, and no Fireband... OR WAS THERE? Yep. There was actually a game with Fireband in it. It was called Gargoyle Crest 2 The Dead Demons and it starred Fireband as an 8 bit sprite. Okay NES, now you have my attention.

Let's take a look at some of the games on the NES. So first off there's the first game to ever introduce Mario, Super Mario Bros Duck Gunt. The graphics are just straight up butt and I don't get what the ducks have to do with Mario. I can't even play that chapter of the game because it doesn't detect the D Pad or any of the buttons. Fix your sh@#$%, Mayamoto!

There's also Castlemania which is kinda bad because I never beat level 2 with the stupid flying fuzz balls. But I know Mike likes it, and whipping zobies is kinda cool. There's also the fish mans underground which remind me of Fireband when he has the crest of water, which is obviously awesome. Overalls I give this one like a 7 out of ten. Not for me!

Now for the game I teased at the start, let's talk about Gargoyle Crest 2. This game is the sequel to Gargoyle Crest 1, which doesn't make any since because that was for the Gameboy and the Gameboy came out AFTER the NES. Um... yeah... But how is the game? Well, I hate to say it, but it's FREAKING BUTT!! A game starring Fireband... but it's a FREAKING RPG?? Nobody ever shuts the h@#$%^ up in this game, and Fireband can't even transform AT ALL!!! And if you thought it couldn't get bad enough, he can only fly FOR LIKE ONE F%$#@ SECOND!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD???? I got so excited to play more Demons Crest and I end up playing the suckiest crap to ever suck crap. WHAT A RIP!!!!! The NES F#$%#$%$# SUCKS!!!!!!!

So yeah, the NES was where it all began. For Mario, for Zelda, for Kirby, Pokemon, and yes, even Fireband. You gotta pay your respects to this console even if its old as balls and plays like crap and doesn't even have mode 7. I love the NES and recomend it any day of the month.

And that's the cold hard truth, sucka!!! Thanks for checking out my page!!!

-Jimmy Thatchroufe