Mikes Crazy Bday Party from Heck

Hey guys Jimmy here. Today it my burthday....... SIKE!!!!! its the prestitious birthy-day of my best pal Mike. So yeterday on satuday it was his party even thogh his actual birthay was on thursay but who has a party on a thusday fool anywaze yep. It was at his big azz ginorman super mega mantion, starting in the frount yard with a clown show and a poiny show and a dog and ponty show and a snake sharmer playing his wissel to make the nake come out of the baskot and also then there was a air planes show with figter jets zouming over heed with trials of different color smokes. And helicoptors sooming under the fighter jets with trials of different color smokes. And a fat guy on a hang glider zooming between the jets and the helicoptors and i was so scared that he would die and explode in a big cloud of blood and goars but luckily he lanted on the ground unscationed. So yeah. Kind of a bib deal. And then for the grand finally, a big 18 wheelor turk drove onto the lown and left big tire skids in all the mud and I was like wow. bige deals. Just a tuck. Then and there right in that moument it tansfiormed into a messive robot. Yup. It was Optimuts Primes. The same one from the movie by Michol Bang.

Now thats the kind of truck that you like to see next to ponys riding dogs and dogs riding ponys. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now onto the mane event. The cloun. He was doing the trick where he pulls out an extreme string of tied up knots and whistles out of his fatazz gullet. And i say gimme that. And I start pulling and well. You dont want the details. Oh the humanoty. But he had to be cairied out in a wheelbarrel and taken to the hospintal, never to return. Muhahahahaha...... Ohh, did I do that? (copyright speven hurkels cathfrase) CREST OF FIRE, B@#$@#$!!!!! (Copyrines Demons Crest After Years) So yeah... Did I do that? anywaze. After all the crazy cr@pp that happened on the front garden we went to take the porty insides to his giant novie theater room to put a movie on the big sliver screen. Todays moovie? TRANSFORMOTS. And guess who watched it with us. Thats rite. MIKE. After the movoe I called him Mike-a-tron for the rest of the knight and he thougt it was cool until I said it 600 times in 4 sweconds. The best scene yep it was the pizzing sene. 10 out of 10 flackpoles.

So after the movie we all went up to left living romm with the big green colored couch and the big yellow codored couch and the big red colored couch and yes, my pour simple minded readers. even the big pruple colored couch. and they bourt out the cake and prezents and we all sang Hippy Birthday to Mikey in a beauntiful chorus of all 78 peopole. Guys including familitar names like Heedmund Flip and Shean Mycelli but also unfamiltiar names like Hector Sponge and Loudy Binker and Bip Bip Nanna Dod and my special uncle Teep Teep Ninny Gugg Beej Skunk aka THE GUGGSTER and his goose PingPing. Good. Timez. Oh. You know who else was thete. Houg. Thats right. Houg. F@#$ing. Goug. No relasion to Istar Gog. The Gogs and the Gougs have an antient rivalry they say.............oh yes. And the Guggster? THIRD PARTY, B###TCH!!!! Oh yeah and Mike was there too. And me sucka. And b##starding phil buckle was not f###cking invited.

Anywaize about said presets. So mike is so Flithy F!@#$ ritch that its basically inpossable to get him a pressent he doen't already have. So every year I always get hom the same thing. SUPERFUGE. His favorite book..............NOT!!! He hates that f@@#$ book like a cat hates a big fat porsellen tub full of crystyl clear walter. Oh yes. For the uninititiated. Cats donot like to get weth. Two yers ago when I gave him a Superfuge he groned and bit it and left a big hole in it and spat the wat of pages at the wall of his party room where they stuck there never to be removed by no living man nor woman or child. now thats what i call etornal karma, son. The year after that (witch means last year for those keeping scour at homee) when I got him a Superfuge, he got a red colored sharpy-pen, changed the name to SUPERF!@#$ (sensored for the faint of hard) then he encaced it into a cemunt brick then had one of his private pilot-mans take him up in a private flying helicoptor and he dropped the superfuge brick out of the helicoptor over the Atlandic Ocean and apparently it hit a boat and the boat. sinked.

But this year I decidid yup no more superfuge. I managed to scrunge up some of my pocket money and also some money i stole from the pastor's son Nathan Boolshitt (THAT IS HIS SURNAME. NOT A BAD WORD.) and i scrunged up yeah. about 25 quid or dollars as I like to call them. Yep 25 whole benjamins (dollars) that I used to buy mike the best. unforgetable. present. EVER. A big pack of Firecrackers and Fireworx and Bells and Whingles and Explosives and IEDs. Oh Yes. I gave MIke the gift of mayhem for only 25 simple dolars. Bu t those dolars realy meant to world to me. That's right. The gift of mayhem. And mike will love it. Oh yes. He will love it. That's right. The gift of mayhem.

So all the presents or prezzys as I like to caul them. were all linet up. And mike starts digging like a down dirty dawggie looking for mine. Becuz well. In cace you didnt notuce. We are best brous. Two guys forever. So while mike is scooping up prezzys left and right and tubling them on the flore like muttly the dick dasterdly dawg, he finally finds his golden prize. The present labeled JIMMY rapped in thats right. printer paper. with the latest dctay comic printed on them. oh yes. and also the 4th of july editorial oh yes. And he looks at me with a smug azz grin and says "SUPERFUGE AGAIN, JIMMYBEAN?? SERIOUSLY??" and he laughs and moves in the most olympicly smooth movement and tosses the gift in a wonderfully spiralic motion like a discus right into thats right the roaring fireplase. All of this before I could say anything. But thats just whats beautiful about the gift of mayhem you never know when it starts. And that would be right effing now.

Spurks and flames burt out immediotely from the fireplace exploding everywhere engufling Mike's poor eunuch thanzibelle in a giant fiery ball of inferno. (MIKE ADDENDUM: It is crasy to me that this is where i have to step in. everything has been correct so far but i would justlike to say that Thanzibelle's geldables are still perfectly intact that's all bye) not anymore honeysuckla. So yeah the fire engulfed all the presents and instontly melted the ice cream cake into a pudel of juice and mike's hamster E. Honda was fine but you could see it in his eyes that he knew mayhem was occuring. Oh yes. Little evil hamster E. Honda. Muhahahaha...

That's when the hero of the story arrives. Thats right the snacke charmer from the start of the arcicle. You could sya... That this is checkoff's snake. Yup. So anywaze he comes in not with a nake nor a flute but yep a fire extinguishor and he managed to put out all the flames without even burning a hair off his long wizord beard. Then he extracted poor thanzibelle who looked like when you mess up the teleport in earthpunt (FOR THE JAPENESE FANS: THAT IS MOTHER 20 ON FIMICOM) so yeah he was soot black and fuzzy and had big white eyes and a smile. ummm... Worth it. By the wya.. in Mother 20 on fimicom... Yep... There's a secret sprite of SNESS (the main chaactor) with.. umm... his chicken out..

EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's a reasone why I dont play games in Japaneese. Or RPGs. Too much chicken for my licking. But as I am the SNES Masteur I must know about all things SNES even if it a cr@ppy game with naked chichens and stupid compat that takes no skill. For ecsample, heres another fact I know. Did you know Final Fantacy 3 is actually Finnal Fantasy 2 in Japan? Yup. They chang the name because nobody cared fool. JIMMY OUT.

HAPPY BIRTDAY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday to you,
happy birthdya to you,
you smell like a monkey,
and you choke your chicken too!!!!