Exploring Mikes House

Ok guys Jimmy here. so we all know that Mike's family is loaded A.F. but do you guys want to know what kind of house Mike lives in? Well wonder no more because I madelast time I went to his house to hang and stuff, I explored and made a mental note of how everything is like in his house. HERE WE GO!!!

EDITOR (mike) NOTE: Mike here. I have fact checked this entire article. Because as we know Jimmy isnt exactly thrustworthy. Read on!

Ok so when you first come in to mike's house you are greeted with a great big garden area with ancient Greak coluns and shizz. And there's also a statue in front of the house and there's fountains on the sides and the house is surrounded by hedges. It's all the way out at ############################### so to reach Mike's house you have to get my dad or Mike's dad to drive you there because it's kind of out of town so you can't get there by running by yourself. TRUST ME.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: JIMMY. Off to a BAD START. You cant just POST MY ADRESS ONLINE. I sensored it out. Dumbazz.

Then when you enter the house through the front door you REALLY get to the meeting potatoes of it all... Because welcome to Casa Valentine. It's kind of a crazy layout so don't worry if you get confused. I know I do lol. First up you are greeted by a entrance zone which has corridors on either side with carpets and stuff. But when you take the curly stairs that are right in front of you that leads you to a sort of upstairs area that has a freaking STATUE. And mike's parents room (their bed is always made so perfectly but their pillows always smell so damn nasty lol you get what i mean). They have a BADA$$ TIGER RUG... Like the kind you see in cartoons, but yeah, this is real. Mike's grandpa was a hunter guy so their house is full of these creepy dead animals lol.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: Theyre not just dead animals laying there and roting theyre stuffed. But they are real not like a stuffed plus doll. They're magestic. Also why are you sniffing my parents pillows.

If you don't go upstairs but go towards the right instead you get to find a bunch of cool stuff. First there's a room with tables and chairs where we always sit down to eat and it's always fancy dinners made by Mike's maids (YEAH. MAIDS) Then if you go left from the lunch room you get to a kitchen that has a sort of bar stool zone. And a curly staircase that leads down to a wine celler. And a glass door that takes you to a friggin INDOOR BACKYARD. With a pool and a little bungalow-type bar with drinks and stuff. There's speakers and during a pool party I played the demons crest dragon fight midi I have in the downloads lol. It was awesome. If you don't go into the kithcen there's a hallway full of creepy family paintings and there's another hallway that leads to an evil skull dungeon I think... I couldn't get a good look.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: Mostly right. The maids dont cook thought, the chefs do. Skull room is real. It's where i'M gonna lock Jimmy next time he ennoys me. Also that's not an indoor back yard that's just the back yard fool.

Back to the West of the entrance we find a sort of living room area. Hell freaking yes baby, there's a SNES here. And a shelf with a craptonne of games, a couch and a sofa, and it's right next to a bar area so if your a fatazz you can go get snacks and nachos and stuff (but lets be real guys, we all love getting our controllers sticky from the nacho cheese lol) Right next to this is a KITCHEN with an INDOR PALM TREE. Someone tell this intarier designer that a palm in a kitchen won't grow coconuts for your coconut creme pies.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: We do have a lot of games and sometimes Jimmy tries to take them but I can see them sticking out of his pocket cuz he tries to stuff like 5 in there. Then he says he was just borriwing them and my dad said its okay but i ask my dad and he says Jimmy is lying. Also the tree is fake I think. I'm not sure.

Proceeding eastwards from the right of the ground floor we get the main attraction: Muthaflippin CANDY AISLE. There's (FREE) candy dispensers (M&Ms, Skittles, Mike pue Ike's, Tootsy Rolls, Etc) right next to a bunch of Mike's peepaw's hunting trophy aninals (like a giraffe and a polar bear and a snake and stuff.) Right next to this there's a bathroom (in case you eat too much candy and have to take a doose) and a gym (in case you eat too much candy and become a big fat freaking fatazz). Btw in the gim there's these two tiny cold pools (and i mean freezing cold) that mike and I love to throw each other in. Or jump at the same time. And then there's also a long thin pool that's meant for excesising but Mike and I like fighting in there.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: All true. Jimmy eats like 200libs of candy every time he comes over. It's gross.

Even more east on the ground floor is a door that leads into the goraje. Sup DK! Mike's dad has a craptonne of money that he loves spending on idiotic things he doesnt need like fancy cars and trucks and bikes. He also has two goraje doors in case he needs to take two cars out at the same time (HOW?) but I don't know how.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: My mom can drive too DUMB !#$!@#$%!@$

Next to the kitchen there's a corridor with creepy paintings of old people that are next to a kitchen with a wine celler in it. And next to the kitchen is another indoor backyard with a pool and stuff. Jeeze, do you really need all these pools Mike? WHo lives here, Free Willey? lol

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: I think Jimmy started getting mixxed up here. We only have one wine caller and four pools. But there isn't one here.

Upstairs from the living room theres a second floor that's all for Mike's dad. It's like an office room bu tthere's a pool table next to a chimney, and yes, there's also a pool (but it's small and worm and splurts bubbles galore. Your not allowed to put your butt on the bubbles because it WILL tear your intestines right out.) Next to this there's couches and a big statue of a knight that Mike's dad got as a gift from some friends (When I get loaded I wanna make that guy build a Fireband & DK statue for the house Mike and I will live in) then there's an office for Mike's dad that has like, documents and boring stuff I dont care about. NEEEXT

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: Not a pool thats a JUKUZY. And it wont actually rip your but off I just told Jimmy it would cuz he kept doing it lol. Also that statue is the same Knight from LLL (technicly the games before LLL but I like LLL better)

Proceeding up from the pool down left ground floor you find what I call the Mickey Room and it creeps me the hell out. There's a TV (sup fireband) and curtains, like a cinema, and there's stairs that lead to other places, It gives me goose bumps. Yeah, There's a SNES here too, but I don't like playing it here because the TV is too big.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: ?????????????????????????

Let's get to the real meeting potatoes of the house, which is floor 2. We already saw a few parts of it earlier up but now is the part that's all about Mike, brotha! To the left is Mike's room (there's a bunk bed and he always sleeps in the top bunk, bottom one's always empty so I sleep there sometimes) and yes, he has a SNES in his room. He has all his games in a big tub. Then there's another room nearby, the playroom, that has, you guessed it, another SNES, and a big light blue couch and a purple tv (hmmmm.... why does this feel familier... lol) and there's a minifridge, and posters and stuff. Then there's also a bathroom and yet another room with Mike's gramps hunting things... A bison, birds, a gorilla, a gargoyle... Oh the horror! What did that old coot do to Fireband and DK?

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: My grampa was (is???) one tuff cooky and killed whatever he saw. Sorry Fireband and DK. Hope you bros had extra lifes!

So up into the second floor you reach another goraje that has copies of all the cars from the other goraje... And somehow it leads to the ground floor with no slopes. I don't know what kind of technology Mike uses in his house but it freaks me out.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: This dosen't even make any since. Jimmy got lost or stupid or something.

In up from floor 2 you reach a third floor that has rich people rooms that exist for absolutely no purpose and nobody ever uses. Like an art room with easels, a music room with guitars and a drum set (that I am banned from using. WHATEVER.), a sort of carpet room that leads to the other rooms, and you guessed it, a third goraje that also somehow leads to the garden. Even DK doesn't get it. There's more stairs in the back of this room but I had too much of a stomachache from the Mike pue Ike's that I had to go number 3 or 4 in the bathroom and then I forgot.

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: I'm a little suprised that Jimmy drew the hole in the drum that HE put there. My dad said no baseballs in the music room, but jimmy said yes baseballs in the music room. Also THERE'S NOT A GARAGE UP HERE. GET A F@$%^@#$% GRIP.

In the second floor there's a hallway that leads to a sort of broom closet (No broom hater in there LOL: that would suck majorly) and there's a John if you have to go number two. Then I'll be honest every time I go here I get lost because all the corridors and hallways make no damn sense, this house is like Castlevania meets Clu Clu land in HELL. Because the maze leads right back to mike's room with the bunk beds. Whatever. I just give up!

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: Jimmy is stupid as f@#$@#$. Theres not a corn rows hedge and hay bale maze in the middle of my house. He was probably having a sugar crash and about to black out when he was making this map lol. But at the end of my day he's my bro. And he got most of it right.

So that was Mike's house. It is as confusing as it looks. But at least the candy is plentiful and free. But you do understand why Mike prefers to hang out at my place... See ya next time folks!

MIKE'S FACT CHECK: Yeah my house kinda sucks. My family is rich which is cool but Jimmy's place has a more cosy feel to it. Even if we have to share his bed and sleep with the head to foot method when i stay the night lol. Worth it.