Ok so... Picture this.

It was the year 1995. The SNES was at its upmost peak, awesome new games were being released every. single. day. Demon's Crest, DK Country 2, even games for nerds who like reading a bit too much, like Earthbound. And right in the mist of the golden age of the SNES, a stupid little pathetic console called the Playstation was unleashed upon the world. Which is pointless considering just how well the SNES was doing but I digress. Originally, the Playstation was actually supposed to be the SNES by the way... So this ripoff of a console was doomed to be a cheap, second place copy right from the get-go! So let's break down all the reasons why the CRAPstation is such a piece of crap compared to the SNES.

#1: It uses DVDs instead of Cartridges. What the hell? Those things are so fragile they almost snap in half whenever I throw them across the room! And who ever even heard of a game that you can't touch the underside of? And it even works worse if you blow on it! Just defies all logic.

#2: The controller has levers. Now I know the version with the levers came out later, but. How are you even supposed to hold this thing!? If I grab a lever with one hand, I have to set the whole controller down on a table to play! And it's so small and hard to hold! Whatever, man. Who even came up with this. Ken Kuteragi, you are just an absolute loon!

#3: Too many freakin' RPGs. Final Fantasy 7, Breath of Fire 3, Breath of Fire 4, Xenogear, Final Fantasy 8 and 9... I could just go on and on! Who has time to read all this text? Just let me slash fools with my sword!

#4 Steals from the SNES. Final Fantasy Anthology and Final Fantasy chronicles, Chrono Trigger, Clock Tower.... the PS1 is just chock-full of games that are ripped STRAIGHT FROM THE SNES!! Do I even have to say anything else? EVEN THOUGH HE'S FROM A CRAPPY GAME, MAGUS SHOULD STAY ON THE SNES!!!!!!!!

#5 MEMORY CARDS. MOTHER. FLIPPING. MEMORY CARDS. Sony invented a new of scam where you have to pay additional $ JUST if you want to save your progress in a game. What happened to saving on a cartridge? Oh yeah, you can't do that on a DVD. Need I say more? What happened to old fashioned passwords? Oh yeah, CRAPSTATION fans are illetarate and can't even write one down, let alone remember one.

#6 Nonsense buttons on the controller. A, B, X, Y. Doesn't take much to learn them, doesn't take much to say them or press them. THE X BUTTON SHOULD BE ON THE TOP, NOT THE BOTTOM!!! And why are they all shapes!?? I Don't want to look down at my controller while I'm playing, I want to shoot up monsters!! Also, they totally ripped off the start and select buttons, and the L and R. Why not go all the way and change those too? Oh yeah... Pentagon and Octagon would be too confusing for CRAPSTATION fans (They don't even know geometry). By the way, I don't give a crap about X-Butt, but at least they copied the letters (even though they mixed them all up)

And that's all I can think of for now. Stay tuned for my upcoming X-Butt rant, and don't forget to rock on all day, every day. SNES STYLE!!!

PEACE!!!!!!

-Mike