Mike's Big Crasy 4th of July Shimdig Party Bash

I wood like to start this edatorial by taking a knee and a heart to my hand to my chest to sing the national anthom.

Oh say can you see
By the lights holy light
And rockets red there
Bombs a-burning in there
And rockets and a-burning in there
And bombs red a-burning in there
Look! Tghe flag is still there.
Oh say can you see
Yes I can see.
Amen.

So it was just the Fourth of Luly and for the accasion Mike had a big party at his big house like he does for every old f!@#$! hollyday. Sorry there was an anoying fly on my computer but ir has been dealed with....for now. Anywaze Mike's dad who's name is Mikesdad I think (so cool that he named his kid MIke it was like the phopecy was fortold) spent tens of trilleons of dollars to have a big hose party like theyn do every forth of July and every other hollydaty really. So they spent all that money to do a party and really put on all tha stops to have a big trilleon dollars party in the house and backyard and frontyard. And I was there and Mike was there and Mike's Dad Mikesdad was there and Mikes mom (dont know her name) was there and my Uncle J was there and then like at least 970000000 other people i didnt know was there. Some party.

Hello to all the gamer guys and the gamer females (you can call me anytime you wish, I am rich and have beautiful straightened black died hair and my house is very big) Mike here. Since I finally reached a mimium requared age to use a barbacue, my dad finally handed me something a i've wanted for all my damn entire life: thats right: the keys to the barbacue. he gave me a spachola and some sausies (sausages) to grill on the barbacue and I immediately got to work on those bad boys. Unfortunately i seem to have been so distracted that day because I accidentally forgot that your not supposed to place the sausies (susagos) parallel to the rods of the barbacue grill. and i put them parallel to the rods of the barbacue grill. so they all slowly slipped through the barbacue grill and into the flaming inferno of bruning hot coles.

We lost damn near 600 dollers of sausies (suasages) meat. and it was all my fault. We lost a nother 600 dollers of sausies (suasages) becajse Jimmy through them in to the pool. and it was all my fault.

JIMMY CHIVES IN: Mike dosent even care about my prac-tical jokes anymore apparently... even though i though we were bros. we even right comics together and he repails me by saying i "wasted' 600 dollers (of his infinite scooge mcdudge money pool by the way). After the hog sog "feeasko', I just wanted to go into the "moovie' thiter room and watch my favorite "movie' that I dont remeber what its called (is called Austing Powers i remembered it) but it has Morten Freetan in it and he does that voice which is i think just his voice. If I had that voice I would be calling huneys and sweedies up on the tellerphone ALL. DAY. LUNG.

MIKE'S KORNER: When my back was turned jimmy told me hey look over there so i tuned my back again and while my back was double-turned he took three slabs of rub-eye-type meat and taped them together and placed them in the pool to see iff they would , AND I QUOTE TO THAT DAMN KNOB-JEAD, "float like a boat'. NO THEY DID NOT FLOAT LIKE A BOAT. we lost 600 more damn dollers of meat in that moment. and it was all my fault. We also lost the 20-pound metal statue figureen that Jimmy wanted to be the pessenger on the meat boat. I don't know how much that costed cuz my dad had it since before I was even sevem years old. but lets asyume it was another six hundy. That damn thing rusted in the pool water in the binge of an eye. I don't even know what to say. So i won't say anything at all, man. Oh yes, I wont.

JIMMYS ADVIGHTS(?) COLUMN: so i may have made a tiny misclockulation. big woop. to be human is to air. if that damn boat would have flote on the damn pool water you bet your damn azz that everyone in the party would have cheered and wooped and throne theire hats and did the special cabbage patch dance that i always do when im feeling happy go lucky. but, deer Mikey, I thinge its' time we move on the real meaty tomatos of the story of the night of the fourth of july: THE FIREWORMS

MIKES RESPONSE: the firewords special show that my dad and mom took's six whole MONTHS. to prepare can be decriped in three words:

An Absolute.

Freaking.

Bollocks-&-Crap-show.

First off the little rope that you set on fire to make it all start (i forget what you call that) didn't start because jimmy sceemed out "oh my god you guys water fireband has arrived' and he sprayed water all over the place using the garden hose and alsoa super soccer. Like dude we are simply two kids I dont think my old azz parents friends know who fireband is and they didnt get the joke.

JIMMY SMALL DETAIL: everyone knows who fireband is you damn fool. anywas continue.

So then when my dad tride to dry it off. You'l never belevevie this. The towles? SOAKED IN PEEPEE. A curtain someone (JAMES R. XXXXXXX) (jimmy small detial: i dont know who that is fool) pizzed on the towels becuze he rembered something wrong. Nobody knowes when you pee in the pool... but he though nobody knows when you pee right AFTER you get OUT of the pool because, and a quote, "Your'e all wet." Yep. Your site owner laddies and gentlement.

JIMMY SMALL DETAIL: you all know mike is a guy who loves lying. continue.

The worst (but kinda funny) part is that my awesome butler thanzibelle (you may know him from my yught adventure or the staff page) said "master mike i will light the fireworks) and he went to the fireworks pile and they set off then and there. he was blown to damn pieces every single one of his fingers ended up in a different corner of the garden it was total and utter bloodsheet. but luckily we broght him to the emergency hospital room and the nurse maid made him all better FAST. so now he's okay.

JIMMY INJERJECTOIN: wait. Thantiball got BLOAN UP??? and I DIDNT SEE IT??? WHAT. the. HECK

MIKES RESPONSE: yeah man you were cleaning yourself in the bathroom (i wonder why) after my mom told you to (I. WONDER. WHY.) so you missed the only funny part of the whole day. thought... i glad you did miss it because i know oh i just know that you wood have stolenand kept one of the damn fingers you bloody sicko.

JIMMY RESPONSE VERSOIN 2 POINT FIVE: It is true that I have a colletion of servered fingors. but thanzibelt is like a couson or a dog to me. I would not stealt his finfer.

MIKE: you never showed me your damn fingor collection.

JOMMY: Try checking up your but and around the corner fool.

MIKE: and i quote jimmy: "mike loves lying'. YOUR SITE OWNER LADIES AND JENTS.

JIMMY: i dont have anything to say really besides mike sucks and he prolaly put firewoks up his nose to see what live is like with a mustarnche. Also he's just mad that I drinked all the musted for the hot dogs and didnt give him a singel droplit.

MIKE: when jimmy thought nobody was looking he swallowed like 7 raw hotdogs like a anaconda snake. like he dident even chew them he swallowed them hole.

JIMMY CLAERS HIS NAME: yup

MIKE: fatazz

JIMMY WAYS INTO THE CONVERTATION: yup

JIMMY AGAIN: also the wole night when something bad hapened mike would say "mikey no likey" cuz he sayz its his new chacthcphrase even though it BITES!!!!

MIKE: jimmys uncle told me that hes actually adopted and was found in a dumbster and his parents pretend to love him and actually inject him with stupid chemicals every night to turn him stupid because they hate him instead of loving him and that they have an actual son that lives in a different house who has two sneses and more than 3 games.

JIMMYS RESPONSE: it is all true

JIMMYS REAL RESPONCE: I DIDNT SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM THE STADD AT DCTAY: HAPPY FORTH OF JUJY EVEYONE!

Oh say can you see
By the donzerly life
How proudly we are
The fourth of Jular
And the rocket red flame
The bombs going away
Should truly delite
Every Nite.
Oh say does that
Star spingeld banner still say
"It's the land of the trees"
"And the home every day!"