The Quest to beat The Crest

Hello foulish mortals and stupid b#$@$#chez. And varios gargoyals. I have a truth bomb to denotate today. I have never beaten Demons Crest. Yup. My belovod game I named this webside and comic after. I never beat it all the wafe to the bloody finnish. But since its Octember and it's f@$#$ scary outside I decided that this weekend. I. Was. Onna. Beat. Demons. Crest. and I just knew just where to go and do it at. Yup. The big movie-type screan at Mike's movie big scren room that's like a room from a actual mocie theatar screen room with like 200 chairs in it all pounted in the general direction of the big movie screan. so they can watch movies. without leaving the house. thats right . movies without leaving.

So the day arreaves and I get dropped off at Mike's house by a man named Rombo Tree who long time reeders will know all abount. Since Mike already has Demons Crest and like 50 SNESes and like 63 controllers and a big dovie theader room with a big "silver scream" all I brogut with me for my big specials days was my lucky can of p's that expired in 1972 that i found at a garnage sale and the p's have all dired out and got all hard and when you shake the can it soundz like a babies rattel and so i will go "dear magic p's help me beat demons crest todat" or "oh magic p's help me clime this 20 foodt fence so i can smack pastor boolshitt(not a cruse word that is his actual. name.) 's big stoupid dog right on his big fat arze and make the slap sound reberberate through the entire god d@$# world."

anywaze so I wantered around Mikes stupid house that by the waze they just added on a new expantion so the house is actually even bigger now. if you can beliede that. I found Mike in the brand new robot museem and centapide terarium room where they display famouse robots like 3CPO and The Termonator and the boy version of Harp Night. And also they grow centapides in that room. You know. Centapides. Mike asked me how I was and how Rombo was and I said good and who cares. And i said Oh sir Mikey you know what it is time for. And he said yep. and then we both said TIME TO GET OUT DRINK ON!! and we went to the nearest kichen to optain. oh yes. the famous Jimmy And Mike Mix Drinjk. One half Coke. One hlaf Sprite. One half root bear. One half cream sofa. One half orange Fanto. One half banana slices. One half water. One big un-sliced apple. and 27 Mike Pue Ikes. And 48 Jellybeams. And 2 Sneakers bars. And one Twicks. And one cup of lemons juice. And then sugur and salt to taste. And put all that into a big 10 gallan fish tank or plastic barral or whatever it will all fit in and stir it like crezy with a wooten or plastic spoon size large. The cocolate bars will look like poop getting flooshed down the toilet and the apple will get in the way but the final result will be, undoutenly, the best drink you can ever sip with this heavensly necktor. oh yes. The formula.

So we micks this elixor to the best of our agility and then it comes the moment of tuth: the taste test! Mike pours himself into a glass and then he pours me one but the f@$## big azz f@$## apple poors right out and smashes my poor glass cup which is Mikes gorgous chrystal challus with a 25 carrot gold rim and 26 carrot gold base amd diamonds in crusted in the base and a big philosophy stone welded onto the feont of the glass. This $29826621 dollar glass has mow experienced the fury of the apple. muhahahaha. So then Mike pulls out the plastic ghosbunters cup which can survive even the nuculear anniallation of the entire world. Who you gonna call?? Mikes cup fool. So now that we both had a cup full of our drink it was time for the moment of tuth: the taste test! eccept it wasnt. because we heard a loud THUNCH. and another one. and another one. and adother one. and about six hunderd more. Yup. Thanzibelle fell down the f@$# stares.

So Me and mike ran over to see what all the fuse was about and we saw Thanzibelle sitting there at the botom of the stares in a crupled mess of twizted arms and lege and neck and spine and head and dorso. Mike said "dude are you ok?" and I said "take the elevader next time sucka, it'll will last longer!!" and Thanzibelle said "ohhh call an ambulents" and i looked behind me and made a mega phone with my mouth and said "oh ambulents!!!" and Mike ran to the nearest phone and I was left to make small talk with Belly as I call him, becuz his name is Thanzibelle and becuz he has that big fat round belloy. I said "so do you come here offen?" and he didnt. even. f@$# despond. So Mike comes back about 2 minutes later and tells me to stop playing the bnogo drums on Bellys belly and i say ok. And he says the ambulents is on the way and I say ok. And Yhanzibelle says ok. And then Mike says so now we can take our drinks which ar WARM BY THIS POINT thanks to a curtain no good clumpsy butler, and go to the main event of the eveneng. TO BEAT DEMONS CREST. on a GIANT. REEAL. MOVIE. THEANTER. SCREEN.

So long story shorts we plug the SNES up to the dovie projectar and there is so much f@$$# lag on it that you cant play any video game AT ALL. PERIDOT. so we just drinked our juice and watched Wane World. Exellunt! Demons Crest ending will be mine. Oh no. She will be ming. Some day.